Finding love is hard no matter how financially wealthy, professionally accomplished, sexually talented, thin, fashionable, funny or kind you are, or famous even. However fabulous, that can be a character flaw fatal for love. Becoming pursuitable in attracting the love you desire and deserve requires you be spiritually wealthy, personally accomplished, sexually secure, comfortable trimming the fat (be it your weight or people not fruitful in your life), “wearing” who you are well, fun and have a gentler approach to dating.

Last summer, my mother told me if she were a man she wouldn’t date me. The nerve – but she was right. I came off so strong that men weren’t seeing the other great qualities I have to offer. “You don’t have to tell them you are strong, they can obviously see that, show them your softness.” Being a mama’s girl, I took stock and gave myself a “make-under”. Ironically although I work in beauty, I went through a period of time where I stopped working at being beautiful. The foundation of COCOACHiC philosophy is that beauty begins within. I changed up how I introduced myself to men and the get-to-know you questions. No more what do you do and who do you know size-ups. Besides, true compatibility isn’t about equality of clout. I focus more on exchanging on the news of the day, hobbies and interests. I also changed my living space. I made decorative enhancements that not only livened my spirit and productivity of a convertible workspace, but also are more welcoming to guests.

Over the last seven months, I have been happy with the men I’ve been meeting and how we have been relating to each other. Initially, men go for what’s on the outside, yet in terms of longevity, they go for what’s on the inside. Project an energy that accentuates the positive and eliminate the vibe that you’re profiling for requisites.

One of Gandhi’s most well regarded sayings is, “be the change you want to see in the world.” My advice, “Be the love you pursue.”

Be beautiful.

~Bernie


T. Bernie is founder and creator of COCOACHiC® Beauty. COCOACHiC.com is the first-ever online beauty community to celebrate women of color by offering comprehensive and relevant cosmetics, beauty and wellness information, resources, events and boutique.
Visit www.COCOACHiC.com

The rising beauty expert’s musings on the beauty found in luxe products, life and love are posted at www.cocoachic.com/berniebeauty.